Surrender and Baby Update

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Not how I planned it...

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  Everything about my life right now is not how I planned it. That doesn’t mean I don’t like it. It’s just funny how when you surrender your life to God, He takes you to places you never thought you would go.   I never thought I would leave Oconee County in Georgia. I loved living there. But we have lived in Kentucky and West Virginia and Cleveland, Georgia throughout the years.  I said I would never marry a guy from Oconee but I did. I thought I would go to the University of Georgia and try out for the cheerleading squad there. Instead I felt led to go to a Bible College in North Georgia where I met my husband (who was from Oconee County). I went to school from Kindergarten through 12th grade with his little brother who was my age, but I had never met John until Bible College. Only God knew.  I didn’t see myself as a kid person and didn’t want to have kids right away…but God changed our minds. At 22 years old I was pregnant with our firstborn and then we had l...
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The Unseen Abuse

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 I tried not to talk about it. And before you get any ideas, I’m not talking about my husband. A counselor told me that emotional abuse is harder than physical abuse for several reasons. It’s unseen. The lies, manipulation and brainwashing can make you think things are okay, but they aren’t okay. The gaslighting and gift giving can cause utter confusion. Maybe they’re nice after all? But why do I feel so drained?  Emotional abusers are like emotional vampires who suck the life right out of you to get their fix, at your expense.  All they care about is how they look to others. They may be physically there but emotionally absent. If you set a boundary and don’t let them near you, they find someone else to torment. I use strong language because it is intense. They cause deep pain to those they hurt but they don’t see it. They lie and cause turmoil and try to break apart healthy relationships. It’s truly sad.  If you find yourself struggling with anxiety or depression an...
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Jealousy

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 I used to get jealous 🫣 and it caused me to criticize others to make myself feel better.  (I know this is sin and it’s horrible but I’m being honest)  Jealousy can be from an insecurity or a sense of not seeing your own value, purpose or giftedness.  James 3:16 says, “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work” “Wrath is cruel, and anger is overwhelming; But who is able to stand before jealousy?” Proverbs 27:4 Have you ever been around a jealous person? It’s hard to be in their presence.  (The verse above says who can stand before jealousy) I started to learn that life is better when I’m cheering for others success and not my own. When I started to allow people more gifted than me to help me, it caused everything to grow.  When I started lifting others up, recognizing their efforts and applauding them, it made my heart happy.  I’m naturally competitive and the job I used to work fed that fleshly tendency. But it’s not abo...
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