Miscarriage at 4 Months

 I was 4 months pregnant when I had a miscarriage with our baby that would’ve been Titus’ little brother or sister. Yes, we wanted more kids. Call us crazy, but we were the most excited about this one because we were older and felt like we were finally figuring out how to handle parenthood (yeah right). 

I never had feared miscarriage. I feared almost everything else though 😅 It was around this time of year that John and I posted our announcement on social media with us in front of our Christmas tree saying that “I was eating Christmas cookies for 2”. 

We told our church family in West Virginia. It was during the time when folks were getting the s h o t for c o v i d . Oddly enough, the miscarriage happened after I had been around my sweet neighbors who had just gotten theirs and that was when people talked about the shedding. 

Who knows why it happened. A person in my extended family blamed the miscarriage on me the day it happened. My doctor said it’s no one’s fault. I couldn’t cry. I felt so empty. It was 14 days of unbelievable loss and physical and emotional symptoms. I went through a season of depression after the miscarriage. It was during the winter which made it hard. Yet God sent people my way who had been through the same thing to minister to me. 

One sent flowers, one brought food and chocolate cake and talked with me for hours and prayed with me. So many sent messages of mercy that taught me how I should show empathy to others when they are suffering. I’m still learning how to do that. 

Looking back, I realize how much God taught me through that hard time of brokenness and suffering. It showed me I wasn’t in control of my life. I couldn’t stop the miscarriage from happening. But God was with me. And He can be with you too.