Expectations in Marriage
We all come into marriage with different expectations whether we realize it or not. I remember when I was learning all I could about godly dating and courting I heard someone say that you should have no expectations . I thought to myself, “That sounds easy.”
Then I got married . I thought I had no expectations but I found myself frustrated that my new husband expected me to keep the cars clean (and the house clean). I grew up with a Dad who kept the cars clean. My expectation was that if I kept our home clean on the inside then my hubby would keep the cars and the outside of the house clean. But he grew up with a Mom who kept the cars clean, cut the grass and kept the house clean.
Our expectations clashed and we had to either fight about it or communicate about it. What do you do when your expectations go unmet? You know, really itʼs not the other persons fault. Itʼs our own fault that we assumed something without discussing it and planning or compromising.
The first step is to communicate with your spouse that you had an expectation that went unmet. Discuss how you wouldʼve handled it and ask your spouse how they think it needs to be handled.
The next step is to either compromise or submit one to another regarding the issue. Try to be selfless in the matter and kind putting your spouses needs before your own.
The third step is to plan ahead so you donʼt find yourself in a situation that could cause hurt feelings or frustration. This could be over something small or something big.
There are good expectations in marriage. You should expect your spouse to be faithful and keep the vows they said on your wedding day. Donʼt confuse godly and biblical mandates for unrealistic expectations.
You should expect your spouse to tell you the truth and be open and honest with you. But you shouldnʼt expect your spouse to cook like your Mom or act like your Dad. Get the drift?
Did you come to marriage with expectations? How have you handled them in a healthy or unhealthy way?
Then I got married . I thought I had no expectations but I found myself frustrated that my new husband expected me to keep the cars clean (and the house clean). I grew up with a Dad who kept the cars clean. My expectation was that if I kept our home clean on the inside then my hubby would keep the cars and the outside of the house clean. But he grew up with a Mom who kept the cars clean, cut the grass and kept the house clean.
Our expectations clashed and we had to either fight about it or communicate about it. What do you do when your expectations go unmet? You know, really itʼs not the other persons fault. Itʼs our own fault that we assumed something without discussing it and planning or compromising.
The first step is to communicate with your spouse that you had an expectation that went unmet. Discuss how you wouldʼve handled it and ask your spouse how they think it needs to be handled.
The next step is to either compromise or submit one to another regarding the issue. Try to be selfless in the matter and kind putting your spouses needs before your own.
The third step is to plan ahead so you donʼt find yourself in a situation that could cause hurt feelings or frustration. This could be over something small or something big.
There are good expectations in marriage. You should expect your spouse to be faithful and keep the vows they said on your wedding day. Donʼt confuse godly and biblical mandates for unrealistic expectations.
You should expect your spouse to tell you the truth and be open and honest with you. But you shouldnʼt expect your spouse to cook like your Mom or act like your Dad. Get the drift?
Did you come to marriage with expectations? How have you handled them in a healthy or unhealthy way?
Wonderful thoughts
ReplyDeleteThank you 😊
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